The Therapist Diaries

Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries, “Could you watch the kids for an hour so I can have a break?" "Would you mind reaching that for me?" "I need someone to listen." These are such simple sentences, yet for so many of us they feel incredibly difficult to say.  As a therapist, I often sit with clients who struggle to ask for help. Some worry they'll be seen as needy. Some don't want to inconvenience anyone else. Others have learned over the years that their needs come second, so they keep going, carrying everything themselves until they reach breaking point. And sometimes, people have asked for help before and felt completely unheard. I recently had a client who was trying to make a decision, and it was weighing heavily on her emotionally. One option felt selfish to her, but deep down she knew it was the choice that would be best for her wellbeing. The other option suited her partner and his family better.  Summoning all her courage, she trie...

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  I was driving home from the airport last week when Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry came on the radio. Now, anybody who knows me knows this song is absolutely one of my jams. The volume immediately went up, I was singing dramatically at the top of my lungs, and for those four minutes you would genuinely think I was going through the most devastating heartbreak known to mankind, despite being perfectly happy and emotionally stable moments before. As always, the emotional performance ended exactly when the song did, but this time, somewhere between the chorus and my Oscar-worthy solo performance, I started thinking about something that has come up repeatedly in sessions with clients recently. Crying. More specifically, crying when you really do not want to cry. It's something I’ve always done, and something so many of the young adults and women I work with do.  It's as though any strong emotion swings open the floodgates. Sadness, f...

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries, Continuing on with our theme of healthy relationships I want to talk about something I used to talk about a lot when I was running my teen healthy relationship group.... The idea of attachment and when it's healthy to be attached to someone, and what it looks like when it crosses into the unhealthy territory.  Attachment is one of the most natural parts of being human. We are wired for connection, comfort, and emotional closeness, yet many people struggle to understand what healthy attachment actually looks like in practice. In modern relationships, it can be difficult to tell the difference between deep love and emotional dependency. Social media, dating culture, and years of romanticised ideas about “finding your other half” have blurred the lines between intimacy and losing yourself entirely in another person. And this isn't just an issue I see when I work with young people, but adults too!  Many people no matter their age gr...

 Hello and Welcome Back to the Therapist Diaries,  In my last post, I explored Love Languages and how understanding them can help us recognize our emotional needs and set healthy boundaries across our relationships. That post brought up a lot of emotions for a lot of people, and from the response I've summarized the feedback into one question: what happens when two people’s needs directly clash in a relationship, who matters the most? Take the example of a couple who have just had an explosive argument. They're both hurt by the situation. If one partner needs space to calm down and reground themselves before reconnecting to move forward, while the other feels an urgent need to talk things through immediately to stop their thoughts spiraling, whose need takes priority? When meeting one person’s boundary seems to disregard the other’s, what’s the “right” thing to do? Welcome to couples therapy where this exact dilemma shows up every single week. I'm going to give my typical t...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Happy Valentine’s/Galentines/Palentines Weekend! You might think I’m being a little extra by including all the “tines,” but the truth is, relationships are important no matter what your status is. Last week, I met up with an old friend who was reflecting on finding her soulmate. It wasn’t her first husband, but someone she met later in life, and when they connected, their souls just clicked. That got me thinking about all the romantic stories I’d obsessed over as a teen, tales of destiny, soulmates, love at first sight, and the idea of one true love. I used to imagine I’d someday meet my own Mr. Bingley, walking into my life like some grand, sweeping romance. But, in the real world, is it really so simple? Do we find “the one,” or is it more about building meaningful, mutual connections? Well, I've come to the conclusion that it's a bit of both. In Wuthering Heights, Catherine Earnshaw says "whatever our souls are made of,...

  Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaires,  This week we’re wrapping up our four part series on lessons Married at First Sight UK can teach us about building healthier relationships. This week we’re talking about how to how to balance romantic ideals with the realities of long-term partnership, which in my opinion, is something we’re all guilty of at times.  If you’ve followed this blog series, you know that  Married at First Sight UK  is one of my favourite running case studies in modern relationship dynamics. Beneath the dramatic edits and the occasional dinner party explosion, the show consistently offers rich insight into the expectations people bring into marriage and the reality that unfolds once the cameras stop focusing on the first kiss and start recording the first disagreement. One of the biggest myths the show highlights is the idea that chemistry should strike instantly and passionately. On screen, viewers often treat the aisle moment like a...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Married at First Sight UK 2025  may be coming to an end but that doesn't mean the lessons from the couples and experts have to stop. Over the course of this series, I've been looking at 4 big take away's that I noticed as a therapist watching the show.  1) Attachment Styles  2) Communication 3) How Couples Evolve Together 4) Marriage Expectations vs Reality So, if you're not ready to sign up for couples therapy just yet but are interested in building a healthier relationship with your partner, this is the place to be! Today we're talking about Number 3- How couples navigating change in relationships, how couples can evolve together, or what to do when they don’t. So, take a seat on the sofa and let's get into it.  In the show, we witness a range of couples who meet at the altar as strangers, this TV staged situation exaggerates the natural challenge any couple faces when entering a committed life toget...

  Hello and Welcome Back to the Therapist Diaries,  Continuing on with our lessons from  Married at First Sight blog series, today we’re going to look at communication among the couples and the lessons we can learn from them about respecting others. If you’ve ever watched Married at First Sight, you know it’s both a fascinating social experiment and an emotional whirlwind. Two strangers meet for the first time at the altar, promise to build a life together, and then face all the joys and growing pains of marriage under the watchful eye of the cameras. As a therapist, I can’t help but watch through the lens of human connection. What unfolds on screen often mirrors what happens in couples therapy, the delicate dance of how couples talk, listen, and handle conflict. Beneath all the drama, the show reminds us that communication really is the glue that holds relationships together. One of the biggest lessons MAFS offers is that talking isn’t the same thing as communicating. Ma...

Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries, Have you ever watched the show Married at First Sight? I recently sat down to watch it for the first time and I was instantly hooked. As a therapist, I couldn’t help but view each couple’s journey through the lens of relationship dynamics, communication patterns, and emotional growth. (Much to the annoyance of my boyfriend who just wanted an easy to watch show.) What might look like just reality TV on the surface actually offers powerful lessons about what helps, or hurts, relationships in real life. That’s what inspired this four-part blog series, where I’ll explore key takeaways from Married at First Sight and how we can apply them to our own lives and partnerships. Whether you’re single, dating, or married, these insights can help you build a stronger foundation of connection, trust, and empathy. Today we're going to look at the Power of Self-Awareness Before Commitment and why understanding yourself is the foundation for a health...