The Therapist Diaries

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  When people think about bravery, they often imagine grand gestures—running into a burning building, standing on a stage in front of thousands, or making a life-changing decision without hesitation. But in reality, bravery is often much quieter than that. Sometimes bravery looks like sending the email you've been avoiding. Sometimes it's setting a boundary. Sometimes it's asking for help. And sometimes it's trying something new.  Since opening my business in February, I've had to make countless brave decisions. I've introduced myself to strangers, spoken about my work publicly, networked with professionals, put my ideas out into the world, and taken risks that felt far outside of my comfort zone. Many of these things may seem small to others, but for me they required a level of courage I hadn't needed before. I'm a great trauma specialist... I'm still working on my business woman skills.  What I've...

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Today we're hitting a taboo topic... and I know I'm probably going to get some stick for writing it, but it's something that's been coming up a lot recently, and I think it's relatable for a lot of us. So, taboo or not, today we're talking about how much it genuinely sucks when everyone else is having their moment, and you're the one still on the path towards yours. Generally speaking, we’re taught to celebrate the people we love, to clap for their milestones, to smile at engagement photos, baby announcements, house purchases, promotions and all the beautiful moments life brings them. And often, we genuinely are happy for them. Deeply happy. But sometimes, underneath that happiness, there’s another feeling quietly sitting there too. Grief. Jealousy. Loneliness. Frustration. Even resentment. And honestly, that combination can feel incredibly shameful. There’s a strange emotional conflict that happens when your...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  It's all new to me. This just wasn't a thing back in my day.  It’s a statement I hear constantly from parents who are trying to understand the growing list of diagnoses attached to children today. ADHD. Autism. Anxiety disorders. Sensory processing difficulties. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Dyslexia. PDA profiles. School avoidance. Emotional dysregulation. The list seems to grow longer every year. I have sympathy, it's hard for parents today. When it comes to mental health, parents today are truly trying to make sense of a world that feels completely different from the one they grew up in. Today it can seem as though every child has a label, a diagnosis, a support plan, a sensory need, or a referral somewhere in the pipeline. Schools are full of therapeutic language. There are movement breaks, fidget tools in exams, emotional regulation charts, therapy dogs, wellbeing rooms, and discussions about neurodiversity happenin...

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  I was driving home from the airport last week when Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry came on the radio. Now, anybody who knows me knows this song is absolutely one of my jams. The volume immediately went up, I was singing dramatically at the top of my lungs, and for those four minutes you would genuinely think I was going through the most devastating heartbreak known to mankind, despite being perfectly happy and emotionally stable moments before. As always, the emotional performance ended exactly when the song did, but this time, somewhere between the chorus and my Oscar-worthy solo performance, I started thinking about something that has come up repeatedly in sessions with clients recently. Crying. More specifically, crying when you really do not want to cry. It's something I’ve always done, and something so many of the young adults and women I work with do.  It's as though any strong emotion swings open the floodgates. Sadness, f...

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries, Continuing on with our theme of healthy relationships I want to talk about something I used to talk about a lot when I was running my teen healthy relationship group.... The idea of attachment and when it's healthy to be attached to someone, and what it looks like when it crosses into the unhealthy territory.  Attachment is one of the most natural parts of being human. We are wired for connection, comfort, and emotional closeness, yet many people struggle to understand what healthy attachment actually looks like in practice. In modern relationships, it can be difficult to tell the difference between deep love and emotional dependency. Social media, dating culture, and years of romanticised ideas about “finding your other half” have blurred the lines between intimacy and losing yourself entirely in another person. And this isn't just an issue I see when I work with young people, but adults too!  Many people no matter their age gr...

Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  During a consultation this week, a client mentioned that they and their partner had started doing regular relationship “check-ins” while navigating a difficult patch in their relationship. They described sitting down every couple of weeks to ask each other how they were feeling, what was working well, and what needed more attention. I loved the way they framed it, not as a sign that the relationship was failing, but as a form of maintenance. It is very similar to something I encourage in couples counselling, I call it, The Relationship MOT.  In the UK, we understand the importance of an MOT for a car. Even if the vehicle seems to be running fine, regular inspections help identify small issues before they become major problems. Relationships are much the same. Most couples wait until something feels seriously wrong before having meaningful conversations about connection, communication, intimacy, stress, resentment, or unmet need...