Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,
It's all new to me. This just wasn't a thing back in my day.
It’s a statement I hear constantly from parents who are trying to understand the growing list of diagnoses attached to children today. ADHD. Autism. Anxiety disorders. Sensory processing difficulties. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Dyslexia. PDA profiles. School avoidance. Emotional dysregulation. The list seems to grow longer every year. I have sympathy, it's hard for parents today. When it comes to mental health, parents today are truly trying to make sense of a world that feels completely different from the one they grew up in. Today it can seem as though every child has a label, a diagnosis, a support plan, a sensory need, or a referral somewhere in the pipeline. Schools are full of therapeutic language. There are movement breaks, fidget tools in exams, emotional regulation charts, therapy dogs, wellbeing rooms, and discussions about neurodiversity happening at increasingly younger ages.
Naturally, people are starting to ask difficult questions. Have we become too quick to diagnose children? Have we started pathologising ordinary childhood behaviour? Are we helping children understand themselves better, or are we unintentionally teaching them that normal struggle means something is wrong with them?
These conversations can become incredibly polarised very quickly. On one side are people who believe increased awareness is long overdue and that previous generations simply ignored children who were struggling, and because of that, many children did not receive the help or assistance they needed. On the other side of the debate are those who feel we are creating a culture where every emotional difficulty, behavioural issue, or personality trait is viewed through a clinical lens. The truth, as it usually is, probably sits somewhere in the middle.
And for my fellow therapists/ social workers/ psychology peers... it's our job to keep the balance.
There is no question that some children who would once have been dismissed as naughty, lazy, difficult, or shy are now finally getting proper support. That matters. Many adults grew up feeling fundamentally flawed because nobody recognised what they were struggling with. Increased understanding around mental health, learning difficulties, developmental disorders, anxiety, and emotional wellbeing has undoubtedly helped many families.
But it is also fair to ask whether we are now moving too far in the opposite direction.
Modern childhood looks very different to childhood twenty or thirty years ago. Children today are growing up in a world of constant stimulation, social media, academic pressure, reduced outdoor play, increased screen time, and far less independence. Many are truly, clinically, and diagnosably exhausted, overstimulated, anxious, and emotionally overwhelmed. Parents are under enormous pressure too, trying to navigate systems that seem to expect perfection from both children and adults alike.
In that environment, it is not surprising that more children are struggling emotionally or behaviourally. The concern is that we sometimes jump too quickly to viewing those struggles as evidence of a disorder rather than asking broader questions about environment, development, family stress, schooling, sleep, social pressures, or simply personality differences.
A child who cannot sit still for six hours in a classroom may genuinely have ADHD. Or they may be an active child struggling in an increasingly rigid educational environment. A child who avoids school may have severe anxiety, or they may be responding to bullying, pressure, social difficulties, or burnout. A child who struggles socially may be autistic, or they may simply be shy, immature, sensitive, or lacking confidence.
Not every difficult behaviour is a diagnosis. Not every emotional struggle is pathology. Sometimes children are simply children.
The difficulty is that once a child receives a label, it can begin shaping how everyone sees them, and how they see themselves. Parents can become fearful and overprotective. Schools can lower expectations. Children can begin interpreting every challenge through the lens of their diagnosis. Instead of “this is something I find difficult but will persevere and overcome”, it becomes “this is who I am and I will never be able to do it”.
As a society we have to be incredibly careful about this. A diagnosis should provide understanding and support, not become a child’s entire identity.
Tied into this is also the uncomfortable conversation around overmedication. Many parents worry that children are being medicated to cope with systems that are increasingly intolerant of normal childhood behaviour. We are asking children to sit still longer, achieve more academically earlier, and regulate emotions in environments that many adults would struggle in themselves. Medication absolutely has a place and can be life-changing for some children, but it should never become the automatic answer to every behavioural or emotional difficulty.
At the same time, dismissing diagnosis altogether would be equally harmful. There are children who genuinely need support, accommodations, specialist interventions, or medication. There are children whose lives improve dramatically when their difficulties are finally understood properly. In the UK, diagnosis can also open access to educational support, CAMHS services, EHCPs, and financial assistance that some families desperately need.
This is what makes the conversation so complicated. Both things can be true at once. We can acknowledge that some children are being overlooked and underserved while also recognising that society may be becoming too quick to medicalise ordinary struggle.
Human behaviour is complex. Childhood development is complex. And not every child fits neatly into a diagnostic box.
I think what many parents and teachers are really asking is this: how do we support children without convincing them that they are broken?
That is the balance we need to find.
Children need understanding, support, patience, and sometimes professional intervention. But they also need resilience, accountability, encouragement, confidence, and room to develop naturally. They need adults who can tolerate discomfort long enough to ask deeper questions rather than rushing immediately towards labels.
Ultimately, the goal should not be to diagnose more children. Nor should it be to deny children help. The goal should be to raise emotionally healthy young people who feel understood without growing up believing that every struggle means there is something fundamentally wrong with them.
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