Hello and Welcome to the Therapist Diaries,
If you’ve ever watched Wicked, you probably went
in expecting a story about good versus evil. What you may not have expected is
a deeply human portrait of trauma, identity, and survival disguised as a
musical. When Elphaba and Glinda sing For Good, it isn’t just about
friendship, it’s about how trauma reshapes us, redirects our pathways, and
ultimately, transforms who we become.
Trauma does not look the same on everyone. In fact, one of
the most misunderstood things about trauma is the assumption that there is a
“correct” way to respond to it. Some people cry. Some become quiet. Some become
angry. Some become driven. Some dissociate. Some rebuild. And some like
Elphaba, become the very thing the world once accused them of being.
Elphaba’s trauma begins early. She grows up as an outsider,
judged for a physical difference she did not choose. She is rejected by her
father and mistreated by her peers. Her experiences of isolation, injustice,
and repeated invalidation shape her beliefs about the world: that it is unsafe,
unfair, and unkind. Her response to this trauma is externalized, she becomes
defiant, hypervigilant, and eventually radical in her pursuit of justice. She
does not bend. She fights. She refuses to assimilate into a world that has told
her she does not belong. Many would label her as angry, unstable, or dangerous.
But through a trauma-informed lens, her behavior makes sense. It is the
response of a person who has been repeatedly harmed and refuses to be powerless
again.
Glinda, on the other hand, experiences trauma in a much
quieter way. She is not ostracized, but she is trapped by expectation. She is
shaped by pressure, perfectionism, and the obligation to perform goodness. Her
trauma response is more subtle, yet just as real. She copes by conforming,
pleasing, and maintaining an image even when that image is at odds with her
truth. Where Elphaba becomes rebellious, Glinda becomes compliant. Where one
breaks free, the other adapts. Neither is more “correct.” They are simply
different strategies born out of different wounds.
This is where the lesson lies: trauma responses are not
moral failures or personality flaws. They are adaptive strategies. At some
point, each response helped the person survive, stay connected, stay safe, or
maintain some sense of control. The problem arises when we judge ourselves or
others for the very mechanisms that once protected us.
In sessions, I often hear clients say things like, “I should
be over this by now,” or “Other people had it worse,” or “Why am I like this?”
We compare responses, minimize our experiences, and shame ourselves for not
healing the way we think we are supposed to. But healing isn’t linear. There is
no timeline. There is no ideal way to grieve, to cope, or to rebuild.
Elphaba and Glinda do not end the story in the same place.
Their paths diverge because their healing is different. Yet For Good reminds
us of a crucial truth: even painful experiences, even traumatic relationships,
can lead to growth, insight, and transformation. Not because the trauma was
“worth it,” but because humans are resilient, meaning-making beings.
Perhaps the most powerful takeaway from Wicked is
that you don’t have to fit into a neat narrative of victim, villain, or hero.
You can be all three, depending on the chapter and the perspective. You can be
angry and gentle. You can resist and surrender. You can fall apart and rebuild.
There is no correct response to trauma, only your response. And your response
is valid.
So, if you see yourself in Elphaba’s fire or Glinda’s smile,
know this: your way of surviving is not wrong. It was your nervous system doing
its best to protect you. And now, gently, you get to decide what healing looks
like next.
Because, in the end, we are all changed, for good.
Until next time- be kind to your mind.
—The Therapist Diaries
For professional inquiries please visit Voyager Therapy
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