The Therapist Diaries

Hello there, and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries . It’s been a hot minute since I last wrote something. Partly because it’s summer, and even I like to enjoy the sunshine when I can. But it’s also because there’s been a lot happening behind the scenes at my private practice. I've been busy finding a new office space, organising some exciting new events, and starting to get the wheels turning for our 2027 services. There’s plenty more to share about all of that, but for today, I thought I’d introduce you to an intervention that, quite by chance, I’ve found myself using quite a lot with clients over the past couple of weeks: The Empty Chair Intervention. If you’ve ever watched a therapy scene on TV where someone sits opposite an empty chair and starts talking to someone who isn’t actually there, you may already have a vague idea of what I’m talking about. But there’s much more to the Empty Chair than simply “talking to an empty chair”. The Empty Chair Intervention is a therapeut...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries, Impulsivity: When the Urge Feels Louder Than the Pause Impulsivity is something most of us recognize instantly, sometimes in ourselves, sometimes in others. It’s the text sent too quickly, the purchase we regret, the sharp words that tumble out before we’ve had time to breathe. I often tell clients that if you’re human, you’ve been impulsive. I certainly have. I’ve seen impulsivity show up in the therapy room in countless ways: clients who interrupt their own healing by ending relationships abruptly, people who make big life decisions in moments of emotional overwhelm, or those who when describing a recent argument say,  “I don’t know why I said that it just came out.” And while impulsivity often gets labeled as “poor self-control,” the truth is far more compassionate and complex. So, let's start here,  impulsivity is not a character flaw, it's a nervous system response. Why Impulsivity Happens At its core, impulsivit...

 Hello and Welcome Back to the Therapist Diaries,  Have you ever found yourself doing the very thing that pulls you away from what you want most? Maybe you procrastinate on something important, push away people who care about you, abandon goals right as they start to feel possible, or repeat patterns you promised yourself you were done with. If so, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. This is often what we call self-sabotage , and it’s far more common (and understandable) than most people realize. As a therapist, I want to start with this: self-sabotage is not a character flaw . It is usually a learned survival strategy that once made sense, even if it no longer serves you now. Self-sabotage refers to behaviors, conscious or unconscious, that interfere with our goals, values, or well-being. These behaviors might look like: Procrastination or avoidance Perfectionism that keeps you stuck Negative self-talk or harsh inner criticism Pushing away people closest to us  Stay...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Today, I'm stepping out of the office and lying down on my own therapy sofa because I want to talk about a topic that I've been struggling with recently and I think it's one a lot of people struggle with.  Making. Big. Decisions. I should start by prefacing that I am an extremely indecisive person- ironic because in contrast I'm also very stubborn and once my mind is made up there's no changing it- but before I can make any kind of decision my anxiety brain has to overthink it a gazillion times. I'm not even talking about big decisions when I say this, I'm saying that I can't even pick what I want for dinner or what music I want to listen to in the car. It's why my boyfriend is forced to watch the same comfort shows over and over again, and why he now knows the lyrics to Taylor Swift songs. So big decisions are a BIG problem for me.  Decisions such as changing careers, moving to a new city, or even c...