The Therapist Diaries

Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  During a consultation this week, a client mentioned that they and their partner had started doing regular relationship “check-ins” while navigating a difficult patch in their relationship. They described sitting down every couple of weeks to ask each other how they were feeling, what was working well, and what needed more attention. I loved the way they framed it, not as a sign that the relationship was failing, but as a form of maintenance. It is very similar to something I encourage in couples counselling, I call it, The Relationship MOT.  In the UK, we understand the importance of an MOT for a car. Even if the vehicle seems to be running fine, regular inspections help identify small issues before they become major problems. Relationships are much the same. Most couples wait until something feels seriously wrong before having meaningful conversations about connection, communication, intimacy, stress, resentment, or unmet need...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  When I started this blog, I wanted to find a way to share therapeutic tips for clients while also providing insight to other providers and future providers and this week I think I have the perfect topic to do just that.  Last week I was fortunate enough to attend the annual International Society of Accelerated Resolution Therapy (IS-ART) Conference. The conference is an annual professional event designed for mental health clinicians who use or are interested in Accelerated Resolution Therapy. It brings together therapists, researchers, and trainers to share knowledge, explore clinical techniques, and stay up to date with developments in trauma treatment. The conference included live presentations and case studies and the best part for me is that it was held virtually so despite the 5 hour time difference, I was able to attend from England!  The 2026 conference was centered on enhancing clinical effectiveness whe...

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  This week at my private practice, we've been busy planning for an Intensive ART service we'll be providing next week in London. This service will include 14-16 hours of therapy over a period of two days. At Voyager we offer these in office, in a retreat like setting, or in the client's own home if that's more comfortable for them. Intensive services of any kind are a lot, but for us, we specialize in Trauma Therapy, so two whole days is a huge commitment from the client. It's mentally and physically exhausting and takes a lot out of the client. So why do we offer it? The results speak for themselves. Research suggests that intensive therapy can achieve similar results in a short window of time, as up to a year of weekly sessions. Why? Because there's no progress lost between sessions. If you could help someone heal in 1-5 days compared to a year, wouldn't you want to give it a go?  The success of intensive se...

 Hello and Welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  There’s a quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly feeling like you’re one step away from being “found out.” You achieve something, land the job, finish the degree, launch the project, and instead of pride, you feel relief. Relief that no one has yet realized you’re not as capable as they think. Relief that you managed to pull it off this time. That’s imposter syndrome . Imposter syndrome is the persistent belief that your success is accidental, temporary, or undeserved. It’s the quiet narrative that you’ve somehow tricked everyone into overestimating you. And at its core is a deep, unrelenting fear of not being good enough. What makes it especially painful is that it doesn’t disappear with achievement. In fact, achievement often fuels it. One of the most difficult patterns I see in therapy is the shifting finish line. “I’ll feel confident when I lose 10 pounds.” “I’ll feel successful when I get promoted.” “I’ll feel worth...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  It’s been a couple of weeks since I last posted, and I really appreciate you sticking around and coming back to the blog. I’ll be honest, I needed a break. Since opening my private practice in the UK, life has been a whirlwind. Between juggling work, the time difference with the US, family life, and managing my Type One Diabetes, I just ran out of steam. We all know that feeling, when you’re stretched thin, and every day requires a kind of strength that never lets up and today, I wanted to write about that kind of relentless exhaustion, about what it’s like when being strong all the time starts to feel like too much. Some days, being on top of everything feels less like a choice and more like an obligation. In my work with children and families affected by chronic illness, I see firsthand how impossible it can feel to turn off. These families live in a constant state of vigilance, where rest and reprieve aren’t luxuries, they’...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Last week I had one of those low days that seemed to arrive without warning. I woke up feeling heavy, flat, and quietly disappointed in myself. I felt behind in my progress. I felt defeated in my ongoing relationship with Type One Diabetes. I felt lonely while the people I love were busy with their own plans, and irrationally envious of people socializing, even though I didn’t actually want to see anyone. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and cry. And the fact that I wanted to do that made me feel even worse about myself.  How did I handle it? As a clinician, I’d love to tell you I immediately booked an extra therapy session, journaled for 45 minutes, did breathwork, and cognitively reframed my distortions. But this blog is all about being honest about our mental health with ourselves and others, so... the truth? I stayed in my pajamas and watched childhood comfort films back-to-back: Barbie as The Princess and the Paupe...

 Hello and Welcome Back to the Therapist Diaries,  In my last post, I explored Love Languages and how understanding them can help us recognize our emotional needs and set healthy boundaries across our relationships. That post brought up a lot of emotions for a lot of people, and from the response I've summarized the feedback into one question: what happens when two people’s needs directly clash in a relationship, who matters the most? Take the example of a couple who have just had an explosive argument. They're both hurt by the situation. If one partner needs space to calm down and reground themselves before reconnecting to move forward, while the other feels an urgent need to talk things through immediately to stop their thoughts spiraling, whose need takes priority? When meeting one person’s boundary seems to disregard the other’s, what’s the “right” thing to do? Welcome to couples therapy where this exact dilemma shows up every single week. I'm going to give my typical t...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Happy Valentine’s/Galentines/Palentines Weekend! You might think I’m being a little extra by including all the “tines,” but the truth is, relationships are important no matter what your status is. Last week, I met up with an old friend who was reflecting on finding her soulmate. It wasn’t her first husband, but someone she met later in life, and when they connected, their souls just clicked. That got me thinking about all the romantic stories I’d obsessed over as a teen, tales of destiny, soulmates, love at first sight, and the idea of one true love. I used to imagine I’d someday meet my own Mr. Bingley, walking into my life like some grand, sweeping romance. But, in the real world, is it really so simple? Do we find “the one,” or is it more about building meaningful, mutual connections? Well, I've come to the conclusion that it's a bit of both. In Wuthering Heights, Catherine Earnshaw says "whatever our souls are made of,...

Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  When people think about therapy, they often picture the techniques used, coping skills, worksheets, breathing exercises, EMDR, CBT, trauma processing. Those tools absolutely have value. But after years of sitting across from clients I can tell you with confidence that the most powerful force in therapy isn’t a worksheet or a modality. It’s the relationship. The therapeutic relationship is the professional bond between you and your therapist. It is built on trust, emotional safety, mutual respect, collaboration, and clear boundaries. It is not a friendship, and it is not advice-giving. It is a structured, ethical relationship designed entirely around your growth and well-being. In a strong therapeutic relationship, you feel heard rather than judged, understood rather than analyzed, supported without being rescued, and challenged without being shamed. It becomes the space where you can say the thing you’ve never said out loud before. ...