Hello and Welcome Back to the Therapist Diaries, In my last post, I explored Love Languages and how understanding them can help us recognize our emotional needs and set healthy boundaries across our relationships. That post brought up a lot of emotions for a lot of people, and from the response I've summarized the feedback into one question: what happens when two people’s needs directly clash in a relationship, who matters the most? Take the example of a couple who have just had an explosive argument. They're both hurt by the situation. If one partner needs space to calm down and reground themselves before reconnecting to move forward, while the other feels an urgent need to talk things through immediately to stop their thoughts spiraling, whose need takes priority? When meeting one person’s boundary seems to disregard the other’s, what’s the “right” thing to do? Welcome to couples therapy where this exact dilemma shows up every single week. I'm going to give my typical t...
Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries, Happy Valentine’s/Galentines/Palentines Weekend! You might think I’m being a little extra by including all the “tines,” but the truth is, relationships are important no matter what your status is. Last week, I met up with an old friend who was reflecting on finding her soulmate. It wasn’t her first husband, but someone she met later in life, and when they connected, their souls just clicked. That got me thinking about all the romantic stories I’d obsessed over as a teen, tales of destiny, soulmates, love at first sight, and the idea of one true love. I used to imagine I’d someday meet my own Mr. Bingley, walking into my life like some grand, sweeping romance. But, in the real world, is it really so simple? Do we find “the one,” or is it more about building meaningful, mutual connections? Well, I've come to the conclusion that it's a bit of both. In Wuthering Heights, Catherine Earnshaw says "whatever our souls are made of,...