The Therapist Diaries

 Hello and Welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  There’s a quiet exhaustion that comes from constantly feeling like you’re one step away from being “found out.” You achieve something, land the job, finish the degree, launch the project, and instead of pride, you feel relief. Relief that no one has yet realized you’re not as capable as they think. Relief that you managed to pull it off this time. That’s imposter syndrome . Imposter syndrome is the persistent belief that your success is accidental, temporary, or undeserved. It’s the quiet narrative that you’ve somehow tricked everyone into overestimating you. And at its core is a deep, unrelenting fear of not being good enough. What makes it especially painful is that it doesn’t disappear with achievement. In fact, achievement often fuels it. One of the most difficult patterns I see in therapy is the shifting finish line. “I’ll feel confident when I lose 10 pounds.” “I’ll feel successful when I get promoted.” “I’ll feel worth...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  It’s been a couple of weeks since I last posted, and I really appreciate you sticking around and coming back to the blog. I’ll be honest, I needed a break. Since opening my private practice in the UK, life has been a whirlwind. Between juggling work, the time difference with the US, family life, and managing my Type One Diabetes, I just ran out of steam. We all know that feeling, when you’re stretched thin, and every day requires a kind of strength that never lets up and today, I wanted to write about that kind of relentless exhaustion, about what it’s like when being strong all the time starts to feel like too much. Some days, being on top of everything feels less like a choice and more like an obligation. In my work with children and families affected by chronic illness, I see firsthand how impossible it can feel to turn off. These families live in a constant state of vigilance, where rest and reprieve aren’t luxuries, they’...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Last week I had one of those low days that seemed to arrive without warning. I woke up feeling heavy, flat, and quietly disappointed in myself. I felt behind in my progress. I felt defeated in my ongoing relationship with Type One Diabetes. I felt lonely while the people I love were busy with their own plans, and irrationally envious of people socializing, even though I didn’t actually want to see anyone. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and cry. And the fact that I wanted to do that made me feel even worse about myself.  How did I handle it? As a clinician, I’d love to tell you I immediately booked an extra therapy session, journaled for 45 minutes, did breathwork, and cognitively reframed my distortions. But this blog is all about being honest about our mental health with ourselves and others, so... the truth? I stayed in my pajamas and watched childhood comfort films back-to-back: Barbie as The Princess and the Paupe...

 Hello and Welcome Back to the Therapist Diaries,  In my last post, I explored Love Languages and how understanding them can help us recognize our emotional needs and set healthy boundaries across our relationships. That post brought up a lot of emotions for a lot of people, and from the response I've summarized the feedback into one question: what happens when two people’s needs directly clash in a relationship, who matters the most? Take the example of a couple who have just had an explosive argument. They're both hurt by the situation. If one partner needs space to calm down and reground themselves before reconnecting to move forward, while the other feels an urgent need to talk things through immediately to stop their thoughts spiraling, whose need takes priority? When meeting one person’s boundary seems to disregard the other’s, what’s the “right” thing to do? Welcome to couples therapy where this exact dilemma shows up every single week. I'm going to give my typical t...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Happy Valentine’s/Galentines/Palentines Weekend! You might think I’m being a little extra by including all the “tines,” but the truth is, relationships are important no matter what your status is. Last week, I met up with an old friend who was reflecting on finding her soulmate. It wasn’t her first husband, but someone she met later in life, and when they connected, their souls just clicked. That got me thinking about all the romantic stories I’d obsessed over as a teen, tales of destiny, soulmates, love at first sight, and the idea of one true love. I used to imagine I’d someday meet my own Mr. Bingley, walking into my life like some grand, sweeping romance. But, in the real world, is it really so simple? Do we find “the one,” or is it more about building meaningful, mutual connections? Well, I've come to the conclusion that it's a bit of both. In Wuthering Heights, Catherine Earnshaw says "whatever our souls are made of,...

Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  When people think about therapy, they often picture the techniques used, coping skills, worksheets, breathing exercises, EMDR, CBT, trauma processing. Those tools absolutely have value. But after years of sitting across from clients I can tell you with confidence that the most powerful force in therapy isn’t a worksheet or a modality. It’s the relationship. The therapeutic relationship is the professional bond between you and your therapist. It is built on trust, emotional safety, mutual respect, collaboration, and clear boundaries. It is not a friendship, and it is not advice-giving. It is a structured, ethical relationship designed entirely around your growth and well-being. In a strong therapeutic relationship, you feel heard rather than judged, understood rather than analyzed, supported without being rescued, and challenged without being shamed. It becomes the space where you can say the thing you’ve never said out loud before. ...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  There is nothing I love more than lazy Sundays, and this Sunday might have been the best one ever! But in our house, in order to enjoy a lazy Sunday, you first have to get through two small voices asking, "Can we have pancakes for breakfast?" It's like they hear you open your eyes and come running in to ask before you actually roll out of bed and declare the day started for the day. My boyfriend's children are both under 10 years old, and so pancakes are a very important part of our Sunday morning routine... no matter how tired I might be at 8 o'clock in the morning. As I fumbled out of bed, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I couldn't help but reflect on the bigger lesson tucked inside that pancake request. I was, of course, happy to make them the breakfast they loved, but I had to remind myself that in order to take care of others, I first needed to take care of myself. It’s a simple, almost laughable tr...

Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  People that know me know that technology is not my best friend. I am definitely a paper and pen kind of girl, however as a therapist working with teens and young adults, I am a big believer that mental health support doesn’t only happen in the therapy room. While apps will never replace therapy, the right ones can be powerful tools that help you build skills, stay grounded, and feel supported between sessions. Below are five mental health apps I often recommend to clients. Each one serves a slightly different purpose, so think of these as options, not “shoulds.” As I always say, take what serves you, leave what doesn’t. Headspace – For building a meditation habit that actually feels doable What it is: Headspace is a guided meditation and mindfulness app designed to make meditation approachable, even if you’ve never done it before. Why I recommend it: Clients often tell me they want to meditate and feel grounded but feel overwhelm...

  Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  Congratulations, you’ve made it through January. However you did that, I’m not here to judge, only to offer a breath of fresh air as we finally step into February… one day closer to Spring! All jokes aside, I found January really stressful. Returning from the holiday period, the beginning of tax season, the lead up to the Super Bowl… there’s just so much going on in one month. This month, I’ve definitely learned  how important it is to take it slow, calm it down, and not let the stress of the season overwhelm us.  Stress and burnout are words we hear and use constantly, often as if they mean the same thing. Many people describe themselves as “burned out” when they’re under a lot of pressure, while others say they’re “just stressed” when what they’re experiencing runs much deeper. Although the two are connected, they aren’t interchangeable, and knowing the difference matters. What helps relieve stress doesn’t always ...