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Doing Things We Just Don’t Want to Do

Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries, 

Today was an emotionally fatiguing day for me. I am so incredibly privileged that my job allows me to travel between the UK and the USA, and that I have friends and family waiting for me on both sides of the pond. Today it was time to fly back to the USA after spending an amazing three weeks in my homeland for Christmas. I have some great things coming up in the US and I cannot wait to see my parents… but still, getting on that flight and saying goodbye to my loved ones was hard! 

So, how do we motivate ourselves to do the things in life that we just do not want to do? 

I’m a philosophically hedonistic person. I truly believe that we were put on this Earth to find our passions and experience everything we possibly can. More often than not, for me, this results in me following my heart and doing whatever option pleases me best in the moment. There’s nothing wrong with living life this way, but it can’t be our attitude in every aspect of our lives. 

Even for the most adventurous of us, there are always going to be things we have to do but don’t necessarily want to do. Not everything in life is exciting or inspiring. Some days, motivation feels like a mythical creature that only exists on productivity TikToks and in people who somehow enjoy doing their taxes early (Dad I’m looking at you!) Meanwhile, the rest of us are staring at a to-do list full of things we absolutely do not want to do… but still have to get through.

Whether it’s studying for an exam, going to work when your bed is calling your name, cleaning your flat, answering emails, packing the kids lunches, or sticking to a health routine, these tasks tend to sit heavy in our minds and drain our energy before we even begin. The good news is that motivation isn’t something you either have or don’t have. It’s something you can gently build.

One of the biggest mindset shifts is letting go of the idea that you need to feel motivated before you start. Most of the time, motivation shows up after you begin, not before. Action creates momentum, and momentum creates motivation. Even doing the tiniest version of the task counts. Opening the document, putting on your trainers, or setting a five-minute timer can be enough to get the ball rolling. Once you’re moving, it’s often easier to keep going than you expected.

It also helps to connect the task to something that actually matters to you. Instead of focusing on how annoying or boring the task feels, try zooming out. What is this helping you move toward? Independence, financial stability, graduation, confidence, freedom, future opportunities, or simply less stress tomorrow? When you remind yourself of the bigger picture, the task becomes part of your story instead of just another chore.

Another game changer is being kind to your nervous system. If your brain feels overwhelmed, tired, or anxious, forcing productivity with guilt usually backfires. Try creating an environment that feels supportive rather than punishing. Put on music you love, make a cozy drink, change your workspace, or reward yourself when you finish. Motivation grows faster in spaces where you feel safe, not pressured.

It’s also okay to admit that some days are just harder than others. You are not a robot, and your energy will naturally fluctuate. Progress doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful. Showing up at 60% on a tough day still counts as showing up. Consistency over time matters far more than occasional bursts of perfection.

Sometimes procrastination isn’t laziness at all. It can be a sign of fear, self-doubt, or not knowing where to start. If you notice yourself avoiding something, get curious instead of critical. Ask yourself what part feels uncomfortable or confusing and break it down into something more manageable. Clarity often dissolves resistance.

Finally, remember that motivation is not about becoming someone who loves doing everything. It’s about learning how to move forward even when you don’t feel like it, while still respecting your mental health and humanity. You’re allowed to want ease and rest while also building a life you’re proud of. Both can coexist.

So next time you’re staring at a task you don’t want to touch, take a breath, start small, and trust that momentum will meet you halfway. You don’t need to feel ready. You just need to begin.

Have a happy and healthy week and remember to talk! 

Until next time- be kind to your mind.

—The Therapist Diaries

 

For professional inquiries please visit Voyager Therapy

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