Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,
For the final part in this series on what Fairytales can teach us about mindful living, we're turning to one of my favorite stories, the tale of The Twelve Dancing Princesses, which in my opinion is one of the most underrated Fairytales out there.
Every night, twelve royal sisters are locked in their room, and every morning their shoes are completely worn out, like they’ve been out partying until dawn. Their father, the king, is totally confused. No one knows where they’re going or how they’re getting out. Eventually, a quiet soldier figures out that the princesses have been sneaking out through a hidden door into a magical underground world where they dance until they can barely stand.
It’s a fun mystery on the surface, but as a therapist, and particular in light of writing this four-part series, I'd like us to look a little deeper. This isn’t just a story about enchanted forests and secret passageways. It’s a story about exhaustion, hiding, and the things we do when no one is watching.
So many of us show up to life looking totally fine. From the outside, things seem together: good job, steady relationships, a packed calendar. But inside, people are worn out. Completely depleted. They’re going through the motions during the day, and then, like the princesses, dancing themselves into the ground at night. Not literal dancing, of course, but scrolling, binge-watching, people-pleasing, overthinking, or numbing out in whatever way they can. They’re doing everything they’re “supposed” to do, but it’s all starting to feel hollow.
And here’s the thing: most people who feel like this, don’t even know why. They just feel stuck in a cycle, constantly busy, constantly tired, constantly disconnected. Just like the princesses, they’re trapped in a pattern they don’t quite understand, repeating it every day and night until they’re emotionally worn thin.
When we really look at the story, the dancing isn’t even joyful. It’s repetitive, almost robotic. The princesses aren’t celebrating, they’re escaping. They’re slipping away from something they can’t name and disappearing into a dream world just to feel something different. Sound familiar?
Let me give you an example of a client that I worked with during my first year as an intern. The client described her evenings as a complete blur. She’d get home from work, go through the motions with her family, and then stay up for hours watching TV, even though she was exhausted. She didn’t even enjoy it. It was just… what she did. When we slowed things down together, she realized her evenings had become the only part of the day where no one expected anything from her. She was using those hours to claim space for herself, but it wasn’t truly restful. It was more like emotional autopilot. And it was leaving her drained.
This is where mindfulness comes in, not as a quick fix, but as a way to get honest about what’s really happening underneath the surface. In the fairytale, the soldier solves the mystery not by chasing the princesses or interrogating them, but by being still, quiet, and observant. He stays awake when everyone else is asleep. He watches without reacting. And in doing so, he sees the truth.
That’s what mindfulness is. It’s choosing to stay present and curious about your own patterns instead of just going through them on autopilot. It’s gently asking yourself, “Why am I doing this right now?” and “What do I actually need?” It’s not about judgment. It’s about awareness.
When the client I mentioned started asking those questions of herself, she didn’t stop watching TV altogether. But she began to notice when she was zoning out versus when she was genuinely relaxing. Some nights, she chose to go to bed early. Other nights, she lit a candle, made tea, and made her viewing time intentional. The point wasn’t perfection, it was presence.
You don’t have to give up your nighttime habits or force yourself into some perfectly mindful routine. But if you find yourself feeling like one of those princesses - worn out every morning with no idea how you got there, then it might be time to pause and take a closer look at what you’re dancing away from.
Mindfulness isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about finally seeing yourself clearly and giving yourself permission to stop performing for everyone else, even just for a few minutes. It’s how we start to break the spell.
So tonight, before you slip into your usual late-night routine, take a breath. Ask yourself how you’re really doing. Name what you’re feeling, even if it’s messy. And then, instead of disappearing into the same old dance, try choosing something small that feels grounding; a slower breath, a stretch, a journal line, even just placing your hand on your heart and reminding yourself that you’re here.
We all get tired. We all hide. But you don’t have to keep escaping your life to survive it. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stay awake.
Until next time- be kind to your mind.
—The Therapist Diaries
For professional inquiries please reach out to georgina.m.lloyd@outlook.com
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