Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,
In our last post we explored the heartbreaking reality of youth suicide, uncovering the alarming statistics and the urgent need for early intervention. Today, we’re shifting the focus to another group deeply affected by suicide but too often overlooked in mental health conversations: men.
The numbers are impossible to ignore. In the United States, men die by suicide nearly four times more often than women, according to the CDC. Globally, the World Health Organization reports that approximately 75% of suicides are among men. These statistics paint a stark picture, not because men experience more depression than women, but because men are less likely to seek help and more likely to use lethal means when they attempt suicide.
While mental health struggles affect everyone, men often face specific social and cultural barriers.
The “Strong and Silent” Expectation – From a young age, boys are often taught to “man up,” “be tough,” or “don’t cry.” Vulnerability is seen as weakness, leaving many men feeling they must hide anxiety, sadness, or hopelessness.
Stigma Around Therapy – Admitting the need for therapy can clash with traditional ideals of self-reliance. Some men fear being judged by friends, partners, or even themselves.
Masked Symptoms – Depression in men can look different. Instead of tearfulness, men may present with irritability, anger, risk-taking, or increased substance use, symptoms that can be misunderstood or dismissed.
Practical Barriers – Long work hours, lack of childcare, or financial worries can make it harder for men to schedule and prioritize mental health appointments.
Take a moment to think about the men in your life. What stressors do they have and how can you help make those stressors lighter? It doesn’t have to be a big gesture to be helpful. In my family I text my Dad once a day- we both do a quick check in with each other and then whenever we’re both available we do a bigger check in over a coffee shop date. With my boyfriend I’ll put affirmation cards in his lunch or sit quietly while he tells me about his day, remembering that I don’t always need to fix a situation, sometimes it’s helpful just to be present.
Research shows that men are significantly less likely than women to seek mental health treatment. Reasons s that account for this include: fear of judgment, limited role models, and systemic gaps. Though men’s mental health is continuing to grow in discussion, it is not as prominent as other demographics. Moreover, there continues to be a shortage of male therapists or gender-sensitive services which discourages a lot of men from engaging.
Bringing About Change
If you're a man who's struggling, know that you're not alone, and you don’t have to carry everything by yourself. Talking to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, partner, coworker, or therapist, can be a powerful first step. Therapy doesn’t always look like a traditional office session either, options like online therapy, group programs, or even walk-and-talk counseling can feel more approachable. It also helps to check in on the basics: getting enough sleep, staying active, eating balanced meals, and cutting back on alcohol or drug use can all make a big difference in how you feel.
For those supporting the men in their lives, normalizing the conversation is key. Simple, judgment-free questions like “How’s your stress level lately?” or “How are you holding up?” can open the door. Be mindful of changes in behavior like irritability, pulling away, or increased isolation, these can be signs something’s off. Offering practical help, like making a call together or going with them to an appointment, can ease the process.
Mental health providers and the broader field can also play a role by creating spaces that feel more male-friendly. That includes using inclusive language and relatable imagery in outreach, offering flexible options like evening appointments or telehealth, and embracing shorter, solution-focused therapy when appropriate. It’s also important to talk openly about stigma and recognize that seeking support is a brave, not weak, decision, one that challenges harmful gender norms and promotes real well-being.
Breaking the “strong and silent” stereotype is not about dismissing strength, it’s about redefining it. True strength includes reaching out, sharing pain, and accepting help.
If you or someone you love is struggling, please remember: help is available, and hope is real.
In the U.S., call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
If outside the U.S., visit https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines for international helplines.
Men’s mental health deserves the same openness, compassion, and urgency we bring to every other public health crisis. By challenging outdated stereotypes and fostering connection, we can save lives,and help men everywhere know that vulnerability is a sign of courage, not weakness.
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