Hello there!
Welcome to The Therapist Diaries, where we spill the tea (ethically, of course) on all things therapy.
Today, let’s talk about something that’s been floating around in my head lately — the things I wish my clients knew before (and during) therapy. Not because you’re doing anything wrong (you’re not), but because if I could wave a magic wand and make therapy feel a little less intimidating and a lot more empowering, I totally would.
Here’s what I’d say:
1. You don’t need to “have it all together” to start therapy.
Actually, if you did have it all together, we’d just sit in silence making awkward eye contact. So many people think that therapy is something we do AFTER, and sometimes it can be- after a crisis, a shift in life, or emotional distress. But therapy is also for people who are CURRENTLY messy, confused, tired, overwhelmed, hopeful, heartbroken, healing — or all of the above. You don’t need to rehearse your “life story” before you walk in. You just need to show up.
2. You’re allowed to say, “I don’t know.”
Some of the best sessions I’ve had started with a shrug and the words, “I’m not sure why I’m here today" or "I don't know what can help me." You don’t need the perfect words or clear goals. We’ll figure it out together. Therapy is a space where it’s totally okay not to have the answers. (That’s kind of the point.)
3. If something doesn’t feel right — tell me!
Therapists are not mind readers. (Although we do pick up on vibes — we’re trained like that 😉). But seriously, if a question feels off, if a topic feels rushed, if you just need a different approach — you can say that. It doesn’t make you “difficult,” it makes you honest. There are so many different modalities that we can try and not every modality works for every person who walks through the therapy doors. Therapy is a collaboration, not a performance
4. Progress isn’t always pretty.
You might cry. Or laugh. Or leave a session feeling like we opened a can of emotional worms and forgot the lid. That doesn’t mean it “didn’t work.” Sometimes healing looks like falling apart — just a little — so we can rebuild with more intention. With that in mind, I'd add that Progress isn't linear, healing is not a straight, beautiful staircase to peace and clarity. It’s more like a twisty, scribbled line that loops back on itself a dozen times and sometimes takes naps in the middle. You might feel amazing one week and hit a wall the next. That doesn’t mean you’re back at square one. It means you’re human. Growth has detours, delays, and sometimes dramatic plot twists. Keep going anyway.
5. You can bring your iced coffee.
Therapy doesn’t have to be this stiff, serious, ultra-zen thing (unless you like it that way). Come in comfy clothes, bring your coffee, curse if you need to, cry if you need to, sit cross-legged — just be you. The real you is always welcome here.
Bonus Thought:
Therapy is not about being “fixed.” There's nothing wrong with you! Therapy is about understanding yourself better, building coping skills, unpacking the junk drawer of life, and learning how to feel like you again.
So, if you’ve been nervous about starting therapy, or you’re in it but feeling unsure — know this: You’re not alone. Your therapist (hi 👋) is cheering you on more than you realize. Therapy isn’t a test. It’s a relationship. A process. A safe space with a couch (or a screen) and someone who cares deeply about your growth.
Now go drink some water, be gentle with yourself, and remember — your healing doesn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.
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