The Therapist Diaries

  Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  I want to start today’s post with a quick check-in. Take a deep breath and gently ask yourself, How am I feeling? What do I have to do today? Am I in the best mental space to do it? This is actually a small but powerful task my own therapist suggested to me. One that has become a kind of lifeline on chaotic days. It acts as a grounding tool, gently pulling us back to the present moment. But more than that, it gives us permission to be honest with ourselves. To admit when we’re not okay. To notice what we’re holding. And to not push ourselves past our limits just to keep up appearances. It’s a moment of self-kindness, and today, I needed that reminder. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how easy it is to internalize someone’s criticism, even when I logically know it says more about them than me. One negative or critical comment can take up permanent residence in my mind, echoing, twisting, expanding,while kind words slide off lik...

 Hello and welcome to The Therapist Diaries, Today’s post is a little different. It’s a personal one.  Eighteen years ago today, my hometown of Bacup lost Sophie Lancaster, a young woman who was murdered for no other reason than looking different from her peers. Sophie’s death is something that cast a long shadow over my childhood. It wasn’t just an act of cruelty, it was a wound to the whole community. Growing up in the aftermath of such a tragedy shaped me deeply, not only as a person but as a future social worker. But out of that darkness came something powerful. The community didn’t turn away. Instead, people came together to fight back against hate, and from that, the Sophie Lancaster Foundation was born. It wasn’t just about remembering Sophie, it was about making sure that people in our town, and beyond, could feel safe to be individuals. That spirit of standing up for each other, of creating safer and more inclusive spaces, was my first real encounter with the power of...

 Hello and Welcome Back to The Therapist Diaries,  Today we’re finishing off our four part mini series on making our days more purpose filled, today I wanted to look at the act of reflecting on progress and how this can help us on our journey to make our daily mental health routine more positive.   There’s something quietly powerful about sitting down at the end of the day, or week, and simply asking yourself: How did I really feel today? What worked? What didn’t? It’s a moment of honesty, and in our fast-paced lives, it’s often the moment we skip. Think of reflection as the pause that allows growth to catch up with us. Without it, we move from one moment to the next without really absorbing what we’ve learned, felt, or achieved. When we take time to reflect, we allow ourselves to: Track emotional patterns: (Am I constantly overwhelmed on Mondays?)  Notice progress: (I actually followed through on three small goals this week!) Redirect when necessary: (That habit I a...

  Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  For the past couple of posts we’ve been looking at ways to make our days more meaningful and fulfilling. We’ve talked about mindfulness and goal setting and for this post we’re looking at the true impact of finding a routine that works for you.  There’s a moment I often share with clients. It's early morning, the birds are singing, the sunlight is just beginning to brush the walls. I open my journal, not to write anything profound, but simply to start the day with intention. That ritual, small as it is, has kept me grounded through some of the most chaotic chapters of my life. Because here's what I’ve learned as both a therapist and a human being: routines may not be glamorous, but they’re quietly life-changing. Why Routines Matter More Than We Think In the therapy room, “routine” is one of those words that seems almost too simple, until we explore what it really does. A routine provides structure, predictability, and a ...

 Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  In a world that often praises the hustle, it's easy to get swept up in setting big goals and chasing them with tunnel vision. Whether it's about career advancement, health, relationships, or personal growth, we’re constantly told to "dream big" and "push harder." But what if the real power of goal-setting lies not in the intensity of our pursuit, but in the flexibility of our approach and the compassion we show ourselves in the process? If you’ve done therapy before you’ve probably talked to your therapist about SMART goals. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. Defining these parameters as they pertain to your goal helps ensure that your objectives are attainable within a certain time frame. The reason therapists mention these so often is because this is how we formulate our treatment goals on your treatment plans. For example, if a client comes to me with a presenting...

 Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries,  I recently met up with a good friend, and over coffee she started telling me about her experience in grief counseling. She’s a fellow mental health practitioner, so she already knows her way around a lot of coping strategies. But finding the right therapist, she said, was harder than she expected. She didn’t want someone telling her to “breathe through it” or “count to ten” when things got too much, she was talking about mindfulness, and that was something she already practiced every day. Her story stuck with me. It made me think about how often, as therapists, we suggest mindfulness in those big, overwhelming moments and how unhelpful that can feel if mindfulness isn’t already part of someone’s life. It’s like handing someone a new tool when their garden is already overgrown, and expecting them to know exactly how to use it and start using it immediately.  So today’s post is about the small, doable ways we can bring mind...

Hello and welcome to The Therapist Diaries,  Starting therapy for the first time can feel overwhelming, intimidating, or even awkward. You’re not alone if you have a head full of questions but aren’t quite sure how to ask them. In this edition of The Therapist Diaries, I’m breaking down the most common questions I get from first-time clients- along with honest answers to ease your mind and help you feel prepared. “Is what I’m going through even *bad enough* for therapy?” This is hands down one of the most common things people ask, either out loud or quietly to themselves. The short answer? Yes. If something is bothering you, interrupting your day, weighing on your chest, or confusing you, therapy is a space where you can talk about it without judgment. You don’t need to hit “rock bottom” to seek help. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but therapy isn’t only for crises, it’s also for growth, prevention, processing, and self-understanding. “What if I don’t know what to say?...

  Hello and welcome back to The Therapist Diaries!  Continuing on with my first time in therapy series , today I’m answering the question “how do I know if I need therapy?” It’s a question I’ve heard countless times, from clients, acquaintances, and even fellow professionals during vulnerable moments. And if you’ve found your way to this post, maybe it’s been circling around your own mind lately too. First of all: you’re not alone in wondering. There’s no flashing neon sign that tells us, “Time to see a therapist!” And despite the progress we’ve made around mental health awareness, there’s still a lot of confusion (and sometimes shame) around what therapy is for and who it’s for. So, let me start with something simple and maybe a little surprising: You don’t need to be in crisis to seek therapy. Many people come to therapy not because things are falling apart, but because they want support navigating something that feels hard, confusing, or heavy. Therapy isn’t just for the wo...

 Hello and welcome back to the Therapist Diaries!  Last week on the blog, we explored how to find the right therapist and choose a therapy approach that fits your needs. This week, we're diving into a question almost everyone asks before they begin:  How long will I be in here? You’ve found the right therapist, and maybe even picked a modality that feels like the right fit for you, you’re off to a great start, but now you start thinking about the logistics of it all… How long is this going to take? How many sessions? How often do I go? Will I be in therapy forever ? The short answer? Therapy doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all timeline. But there is a roadmap and from the very first session, your therapist should be planning for your exit. Sounds odd, right? You just started, and we’re already talking about goodbye? Let me explain. If I do my job properly then eventually we’re going to get to a point where I never have to see you in my office again. #sorrynotsorry! But ...